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 Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours

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RonC
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PostSubject: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 8:52 am

On Wednesday, I had the pleasure(?) of being deposed by several attorneys as an expert witness. The adventure lasted about 8 hours. Admittedly, the experience was no where near as bad as some of our members recent health issues, but it was intense.

Probably the most difficult part was having to be "on" - fully attentive and in condition zero. The deposing attorneys are going to use tools and tricks to direct you to make statements that they can use to their advantage. My part was to tell the truth while being attentive to the tricks and games being employed by the attorneys.

For instance, the deposing attorney may hand you a document and ask you to go to Chapter 4, page 15. As you are turning the pages and you are distracted, they will pop questions at you, trying to catch you off guard. I requested that the attorney please cease questioning until I am at the correct place in the document.

The attorney may ask you to read a sentence of paragraph and start asking questions about it. That can be a trap. I request time to read the material before and after the sentence or paragraph so I can see it in context.
This goes on for hours!

I see it almost like a continuous, intellectual duel. One letdown of your guard and your testimony can be turned into a disaster.

After 8 hours of this, I was exhausted. I also was somewhat exhilarated in that I had anticipated many of the questions.

Overall, it was an interesting experience.
Ron

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Last edited by RonC on August 26th 2016, 2:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 10:12 am

Ron,
You did a great job. I know because I've been there myself a few times concerning procedures I've used to carry out different court orders. The defendant call's foul and the next thing you find yourself being grilled by some bull shit atty trying to trip you up so he could use it in court to benefit his dirt bag client.

Ray.............. :tup2 :tup2 :tup2

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 10:23 am

My Italian temper would have told them to stuff it on their first trick.

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 11:58 am

@hawgslayer wrote:

the next thing you find yourself being grilled by some bull shit atty trying to trip you up so he could use it in court to benefit his dirt bag client.

Ray, I think all agree that attorneys are the scum of the earth. As the old joke states: "What do you call 100 attorneys at the bottom of the ocean?"

Answer: "A good start."

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 2:27 pm

At one point, it would have been pleasant to jump over the table and put one attorney into a Kimura arm bar or a triangle choke or omoplata or D'Arce choke (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu). But, my son suggested that such actions might disturb the decorum of the meeting.  Very Happy 
Do you know what you have when there are 20 attorneys buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 2:45 pm

I've heard it said that 90% of lawyers give the other 10% a bad name. I think that was a little generous.
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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 5:59 pm

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
A: Senator.


Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.


Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 26th 2016, 6:40 pm

Why do you bury a lawyer 10' under?

cause they're really good........deep down!

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 27th 2016, 1:33 pm

i have testified at  murder and attempted murder  trials as an expert witness.  All the victims had been murdered or maimed with military explosive ordnance or IEDs.   The high priced lawyer for a state trooper who murdered his wife with an M67 grenade challenged my qualifications as an expert witness with several asinine questions.  The federal judge told the lawyer:   "You don't get to challenge expert witnesses in my court.  This gentleman is an expert witness in his field."

The state trooper was found guilty of murder and got life in federal prison.
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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 27th 2016, 3:07 pm

I was summoned for jury selection in Westcliffe Colorado. The trial was for a man who was charged with "cultivation of marijuana" in the San Isabel NF. When my turn came to be interviewed by the ADA and the defense attorney............when asked what I did for a living, my response of "I general manager for Trinity Trail Riders, a Denver based men's trail ride ministry".....this response immediately brought unwanted attention from both attorneys. Grilling me longer than any other candidate, the defense seemed fixated on the definition of "cultivation" and the prosecution, on my personal moral view of illegal drug use. The defense asked me if I had any experience of crop "cultivation".............now the previous interviewees had gone into great length of definition of "cultivation" by explaining how the soil had to be prepared, seed sewn, and then careful attention to "cultivating" the plants with fertilizer, weeding and watering. When I was asked the question, my response was "well I used to farm dry land wheat and we'd plow the ground, sew the seed............and then pretty much walk away from it!....sorta like growing marijuana in the National Forest. Now one would think that would have got me kicked off.....and it would have except the ADA still had to ask me more questions. I had determined by the questions from both attorneys that, the sheriff had made a sloppy bust and the young hippy like "court appointed defense attorney" had wanted to get him off on a "technicality"...i.e. was he "technicality" cultivating marijuana. Finally I said....."look it's obvious the sheriff made a sloppy bust and the defense is trying to get him off on a technicality"..............in perfect unison the two said "dismissed". Perhaps because of my youth, the judge chose not to hold me in contempt. In any case the kid was as guilty as sin...but got off....on a technicality! Razz  ........so not an expert witness, but I am a thinker....sometimes my mouth gets ahead of my thinking! Embarassed

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 27th 2016, 5:14 pm

It's my personal opinion that law enforcement and or retired officers shouldn't have to sit and be questioned by the judge, prosecution and or defense atty only to be dismissed when they find out the juror they are questioning is or was in law enforcement.
As soon as it's my turn to be questioned I tell the court that the defendant is guilty because if he wasn't, the officers wouldn't have arrested him. I'm dismissed immediately.

Ray............. Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 27th 2016, 6:36 pm

Every time i'm called for jury duty it never goes to trial. Which is fine with me.

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 28th 2016, 2:14 pm

I got called 2 years ago for a trial where the father had shot his son with a shotgun. They made a big deal out of the fact the gun had a full choke. It seems no one knew what a choke did in a shotgun. After I explained it to them, they both said, "I didn't know that". Then they dismissed me.

They are ignorant asses.

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 28th 2016, 8:35 pm

@patocazador wrote:
I got called 2 years ago for a trial where the father had shot his son with a shotgun. They made a big deal out of the fact the gun had a full choke. It seems no one knew what a choke did in a shotgun. After I explained it to them, they both said, "I didn't know that". Then they dismissed me.

They are ignorant asses.

 Sounds familiar! Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 28th 2016, 8:38 pm

I hate jury duty. I always answer honestly and they let me go. They cant handle the truth!
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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 28th 2016, 8:51 pm

I was selected for a methamphetamine case. A young fellow from Golden was arrested for distribution. During jury selection, I told them that I had 60 students counting on me to hold class 3 times a week. Made no difference. I was chosen.
The kid obviously had been told by his appointed attorney to show up in nice clothes and a tie. He had the tie, a nice shirt, and a pair of pants that hung down so that the waist was half way between his hips and knees. He must have been 6'4" tall and maybe 140 lbs.
Where did he hide his drug stash? Under the bed of his girlfriend's 2 year old child.
The jury convicted.
Ron

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PostSubject: Re: Great Fun or Unbearable Torture - I was deposed by attorneys for 8 hours   August 31st 2016, 6:52 pm

When I was called while back I told them I couldn't be there on trial date! "Why is that the DA asked?? I told DA "Because I'm 75 and considered senile and I'm going deer hunting in Kansas"! Dismissed!!
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