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 Senior Shoplifter

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Smokin' Joe
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Age : 68
Location : Elk River, MN
Registration date : 2011-11-23

PostSubject: Senior Shoplifter   October 12th 2017, 9:28 am

A cranky older woman "in her senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.
When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.”

The judge then asked why she had done it.
She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"
The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."

As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.

The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"
The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole two cans of peas." 
PERHAPS HE WAS HOPING FOR “HOME ALONE TIME”.

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Buck Conner
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PostSubject: Re: Senior Shoplifter   October 13th 2017, 3:48 pm




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PostSubject: Re: Senior Shoplifter   October 13th 2017, 3:50 pm

Grandpa was telling his young grandson what life was like when he was a boy.

"In the winter we’d ice skate on our pond. In the summer we could swim in the pond, and pick berries in the woods. We’d swing on an old tire my dad hung from a tree on a rope. And we had a pony we rode all over the farm."

The little boy was amazed, and sat silently for a minute. Finally he said, "Granddad, I wish I'd gotten to know you a lot sooner!"

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Buck Conner
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Male Number of posts : 1720
Age : 77
Location : Lehi Utah
Registration date : 2015-10-20

PostSubject: Re: Senior Shoplifter   October 13th 2017, 3:52 pm

An elderly man was having hearing problems and went to see a specialist. The doctor fitted him with some hearing aids that brought his hearing back to full strength.

After a few weeks the man came back to make sure the new equipment was working properly, which it was.

The hearing specialist said, “It all seems perfect. Your family should be delighted you can hear everything now.”

“Oh no,” the man responded. “I haven’t told any of them. I just sit quietly, listening carefully. I’ve changed my will four times.”

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